I am so sick of not sleeping when I am suppose to! I had a lot of sleep problems before the Olympia but its still going on. I have a feeling it has a little to do with nerves. I have been a little stressed and I think my mind keeps me up. I know Im tired/exhausted but Im wide awake. Which then makes me very unproductive the next day. We leave for Utah tomorrow for a guest pose. I think Im a little concerned about how I will look. I still think I look good but I dont think its stage good. Ive got some curves back and my curves are not normal! I am back up to about 185 and I competed at 162! I just know how hard the fans can be on the pros. Hell, I need to eat something yummy too. lol I am looking forward to it though. Ive been getting more guest posing request which I think is just so cool. Its about time the woman are brought back into the local shows. I know I would've loooooved to have seen a top pro at a show 10-15 years ago. I was in awe when I went to my first Olympia seeing all the pro woman that I admired. Ironically I dont see myself like that now though. I just feel like.. me, muscles or not... just normal. I hope people see me as approachable. I know so many of the pros do not come off that way at all. My mom wanted to say hello to one of the other Olympia competitors a couple years ago in Vegas and she said she didnt cause she seemed very unapproachable. If my mom thinks you are unapproachable... you are. In this case she was on the money. I do fully understand that there is a time and place to be left alone however. Pre show yes but afterward you should be different. Some of the men can come off really stand offish too. That is why I think Phil is so great. That guy will talk to anyone anytime. He's kinda Arnold like which is great for the sport. We are leaving for Mexico on Monday. I am so already there mentally. Its like an itch I cant scratch. We are going to our usual place in Cozumel first with a few friends and then to Cancun. We've never went on a vaca with friends but Im excited to take these people. Which a few more couldve gone. We have some very cool friends.. I think so anyhow. ;) I would NEVER let just anyone go with us. You have to be fully comfortable. We cherish our trips too much to mess one up. We get back and its back to work big time. I want to actually be better at the Arnold. Much. I definitely dont want to do what Ive done the last 4 shows and be frazzled to put on the muscle and get in shape quick. I feel good that I have more of a plan. I almost was in denial that the Olympia was coming going into the summer months this year. I put off dieting till the last minute and I was fat! lol Stupid. Stupid and fat! hahaha Going to go eat some broccoli.. yummy! Not quite the same as pancakes before bed but Ill make it work.